Forays of an American Expat: A Night In Viborg

Forays of an American Expat: A Night In Viborg

Franklin Streck, January 2nd 2018

So a Swede, a Finn, and an American walk into a bar…this was the other night in a very small town in Denmark called Viborg, located in a farm-covered area called Jutland (the peninsula part of Denmark that’s connected to Germany).

We’re here for work, and after having dinner decided to go to a dive bar for some booze before going back to the hotel. The image is the favorite beer of the locals, Haker Bajer, not the “weak, foo-foo” beer they sell in Copenhagen (apparently).

The already drunken townies laughed when they found out where we all came from, and took turns on each of us. Some of the drunks, in a weird off-key unison, mocked our Finnish colleague, mimicking the fucked up sounds that Finns make when they open their mouths and speak. I thought things were going to go sideways for a minute, as Keva (our Finnish web developer) looked none too pleased when one of the locals grabbed him roughly by the shoulder as he laughed at all of the Finns on the earth (Russia always kicks your ass! HAHAHA, “oob a scoob a flooopa, eh?!” HAHAHA), and right after, a different townie¬†seemed to fondly (and loudly) reminisce, as if he had been there, of when a certain Danish king murdered all of the Swedish nobility in one day, what was called afterward the “Bloodbath of Stockholm”…THOSE SWEDES HAD IT COMING! he bellowed with his glass raised (everyone in the bar cheered as our Swedish tech director, Jonas, looked on with a thin-lipped smile)…but instead, just as that laughter died down and the tension got thick, Keva bought the guy who grabbed his shoulder a beer and said a loud CHEERS and clinked his glass…everyone relaxed, and then we all had some yucks. The bar is less than 40 square meters, so cigarettes are allowed…which means the whole place reeked of smokes (as did we when we left). A lot of the drunks crammed in that bar made a big deal of their bafflement of Trump and American politics in general, but didn’t carry on long with that theme as I mostly agreed with them.


Then one of them sat down with us at our small table and spoke lovingly of the traits of hot Danish women, and when the bartender came by sweating from her toil, told us how much he loved her breasts right in front of her, and aren’t they big, aren’t they lovely? He shut his yap when I replied “Funny! We were just talking about sexual harassment in the workplace, and how much it sucks, and how we hope the lecherous swine who do this would just STOP, you know?” He stared at me but stayed with us until we left, quietly nursing the lone beer we bought him. We finished our drinks and left not too long after that, and walked back to our hotel filled with a little too much swill but with smiles on our faces, and I was in bed by 11 pm.

All in all, a good albeit weird night. 

7 am came too early, and when we left at 7:30 am to head back to the client’s office, I was REALLY thinking about how great it would have been to get two more hours of sleep. We joked at lunch about going back to hang with the drunken louts again that night, as we were in Viborg for the week.

Of course we didn’t.

Franklin Streck